Navigating My New Normal

So here we are.... one year post-surgery and almost five months post-treatment. I had originally planned on doing this update on September 8 (the one-year anniversary of Toby-B-Gone) but I didn't feel that it was appropriate to do so on the day our Sovereign and Head of State passed away.  So, 12 days later here we are:

I've been on a gradual return-to-work plan now for almost two months and am up to 21 hours (or three full days) per week.  I should be back to full-time hours by November 1, along with one day a week in the Toronto office.  Not looking forward to the 4-hour commute, but after almost three years of working remotely 100% of the time, one day a week is a small sacrifice.  Truth be told, the return-to-work has been good for my overall cognitive ability.  The first couple of weeks were a bit rough - it took me forever to do simple tasks and everything seemed so difficult - but it has drastically improved since then and I am back to beating Dave at Jeopardy once again!  I generally like what I do for a living, but in my new normal I am not prepared to have it as the main focus of my existence. There are so many other things in my life that mean much, much more to me and that is where I want to spend my energy. In my new normal, I need to find that fine balance.

Healthwise, I still get very tired at times, and I have been trying to wean myself off a daily afternoon nap but this has proven very hard to do.  I find that I benefit from a quick 20-30 minute cat nap, especially after I finish a full work day. So, I have decided that for now, cat naps are going to be part of my new normal.  

It appears that I have edema (fluid build-up) in my diseased boobie.  After a course of antibiotics and an ultrasound, this news was received today at a follow-up appointment with my onco doc.  She advised that this is simply a leftover from radiation.  Apparently, in some patients radiation side effects initially subside but then return several months after treatment has completed. Lucky me. After spending a couple of weeks fretting about a swollen, red, hot, itchy and painful boobie and arm pit (and causing Dave and Nichole great concern), this is good news.  I also qualified for genetic testing on the government's bill, and should have the results at some point in November, and depending on those results, I can move forward with making better informed decisions with respect to my health.  I can no longer take my health for granted and my new normal will always include a strong healthcare priority.  

Another aspect of my new normal is learning how to be vigilant about my health while keeping the doomsday thoughts at bay. Most cancer survivors struggle with this, and I am no different.  After spending almost an entire year going through surgery, treatment and recovery, it is impossible to pickup the threads of my pre-cancer life and move on as if nothing has happened. However, I am very lucky.  No one in my life has expected me to do that.  I am the one who has to cut myself some slack, and learn to appreciate the things that have formed my new priorities in my new normal.

P.S. As Breast Cancer Awareness Month approaches, it is time to Think Pink! My niece, Alyssa Thomas, will be participating in the CIBC Run for the Cure and she has dedicated her participation to me.  I am honoured and humbled beyond words.  If you would like to donate to this very worthy cause, please visit her donation page at: Alyssa Thomas - Run for the Cure