My Guardian Angel(s)

I like to keep my spiritual beliefs private and close to my heart. However, I will share that I believe in a higher power, and that although we are responsible for the majority of the choices we make in our lives, some choice and actions are guided by that higher power and happen for a reason - even if that reason is not always apparent at first.

Looking back to August 1, 2021- the day I discovered that Toby had taken up residence in Boobtown - I can firmly say that my actions were guided by a Guardian Angel. I was sewing, and stopped to stretch my arms above my head and then I ran my hands down the front of my body, a motion that is absolutely out of the ordinary for me.  Lo and behold, there was Toby popping out to say "Hello, neighbour".  If I hadn't run my hands down my front, I would not have found him.  Somebody was looking out for me, and I believe that on that particular day it was my Mom.  It was the 13th anniversary of Mom's passing from a multiforme glioblastoma brain tumor.  

Since then, there have too many incidents of good luck to ignore: from the scheduling assistants who helped me get an immediate mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy, to a quick appointment with my surgical oncologist because someone else had cancelled, to Toby being fully evicted and early detection of his Minions being out and about, to no chemotherapy sessions being cancelled or postponed due to short-staffing issues or red flags on my bi-weekly blood reports. Even small things, like turning on the radio and a song that I find particularly inspiration playing, or receiving a message on a difficult day when I need a pick-me-up.  There is no doubt in my mind that I have a group of Guardian Angels looking over me and helping me through this journey.

My group of Guardian Angels recently grew by one when a beloved family member passed away from this horrific disease.  I knew that her time was on the horizon, but that doesn't make her passing any less painful or difficult to bear.  She fought a very long and good fight and will be missed by everyone whose life she touched. In addition to being a close family member, she was my "cancer confidant" and I could tell her the 100% brutally honest truth without any sugar coating, and I would always receive sound guidance and loving advice in return.  Having been down the same road as me, nothing was off the table and I could ask about anything, no matter how embarrassing or stupid it seemed.  I know that I will feel the loss of her counsel as my journey continues.

Now I will continue my fight in honour of my new Guardian Angel.